Rummy in the Rain

Raining out. I am sound asleep in the cab of the truck. Don't ask how, it's uncomfortable as fuck. Kenny wakes me up to play Rummy. I hate cards. Now I am awake. I grew up playing Rummy Cube, so I agree to play cards and make a move he's never seen before. He tells me I am cheating. Really? I check the web and with another guy on the job. I wasn't cheating. Now he's pissed off for being wrong. Can I go back to sleep now?

500 Days of Summer

"You're a film guy." Mike
"Sure." Me
"You like Jeepers Creepers?"
"Didn't see it."
"You didn't see it? What about Hesher?"
"Nope. You know what you are?" Me
"What?" Mike
"This is gonna hurt."
"Okay."
"The product of popularity."
"What about 500 Days Of Summer?"
"A girl used that movie to break up with me." Me
"No way! I gotta here this story." Mike
"Not much of a story. She told me about how she played that movie for her ex-boyfriend as a way of telling him the relationship was over. So when she suggested we watch it together, I had a pretty good idea the end was near."
"I can't believe it."
"I'm used to it actually. Women in the past have used Alley McBeal, Friends and other tv shows to control the path of their love life. 500 Days of Summer is no exception."
"What a fucking cunt."
"No man, she's great."
"You still like her?"
"I do. I would drive five hours through two states to see her as much as I could. Cook her breakfast, make her dinner. Venture together throughout her entire city. We made a lot of great memories."
"What was the problem?"
"After a while, the smile staring back at me faded. I could see what was behind her eyes. I knew I could give her all the flowers she ever wanted, tell her that I liked her or loved her until I ran out of breath. None of it mattered." Me
"Why not?" Mike
"She didn't like herself."

Moby Dick is Jonah and the Whale

"They say there's a heaven." Brian
"That's what they say." Me
"I'm one of those guys you gotta show me."
"Me too."
"Ain't no one come back and say it's a great place."
"Nope."
"And everyone who wrote that book was alive."
"True."
"What was that one, Moby Dick?"
"Jonah and the Whale."
"Yeah. It's like, really? Come on!"
"Yep."

Kiss your ass?

At Holiday Inn Express in Ohio for the night. We all met up at the hotel bar. To my right, I happened to sit next to the General Foreman, Bart. Half of the guys on this trip sit as far away as they can from Bart. I don't feel threatened, so I stay where I am seated. On my left was this guy everyone calls D. He's technically sitting to my left, but I have my body turned so my back is to him. He's a dumpy ex-marine who doesn't shut up. I do my best to ignore his existence.

"I'll buy 14 burgers for the guys." Bart
"Make one of them a bean burger." Me
"Bean burger? What are you a goddamn vegetarian?" Bart
"I'm just concerned about where the meat comes from." Me
"I'm not sure I want a vegetarian out here on stormwork with us. I might just put you on a Greyhound and send you back home." Bart
"I'll take a burger, Bart." D said.
"Bart, do you want someone who can climb a tree or kiss your ass?" Me
Bart stared at me with a look telling me to buckle and tell him I'm just joking around.
Instead, I finished with, "I'll let you think about that for a while."

Two Bucks, One Arrow

Friday:

"My daughter called me." Brian
"Yeah." Me
"She was out in the back woods with her bow.  A doe walked by.  She pulled the arrow back, but was watching to see where she was going to hit instead of looking through the sites."
"And."
"She missed it."
"Who's she out in the woods with?"
"No one. Just huntin' by herself."
"How old is she?"
"Fifteen."
"Wow.  That's pretty badass.  A chick hunting by herself."


Saturday:

"My daughter just called me." Brian
"Yeah, is she hunting again?" Me
"She said she was in the stand and watched a doe walk-by."
"Didn't shoot?"
"No.  She waited.  Then an eight point buck walked by grunting after the doe.  She shot him and the arrow when right through him.  He walked off some ways and stopped.  Watched him drop to the ground."
"No shit."
"She got down out of the stand, picked up her arrow and went back in the stand.  Twelve minutes later a six point buck walked by.  Shot him in the heart and he dropped right there."
"Why did she get back in the stand?"
"I told her if she shoots a doe, wait for the buck to come looking for her."
"What's the deal with only one arrow."
"I told her to only take one out.  You want to prove yourself, than only take one shot.  She got two with one arrow."
"Holy fuck."
"She wants me to buy her those Pink Lady arrows.  I told her only if she shoots a deer.  For shooting two bucks with one arrow...yeah, I gotta get her those Pink Lady arrows now."

Two Things

"When I started working here, there were two things the other guys did to help me learn the job. You want to know what they were?" Me
"What's that?" Mike
"Jack and Shit."
"I'm finding that out."
"Once I show you how to do something, don't ever expect me to do it for you again."
"Got it."
ZATT by 5PM

Go Eat Break

"Let's go eat break." Brian
"Does he mean 'take' break?" Mike
"I think he's trying to save words." Me

Michelle 50 Feet Up and Scared Shitless

"Michelle, what are you doing?" Roley
"Trimming the tree, Roley." Mike
"No you're not, you're wasting my time. You want me to come up there and do it myself?" Roley
"No." Mike
"Well then climb up farther and get to where your work is." Roley
"Hey Bieber, you change your address?" Brian
"No, why?" Mike
"Cause the Post Office is here to deliver your mail to that tree." Brian
"I'm goin' as fast as I..." Mike is shaking in the tree.
"Shutchyer mouth and climb the tree," Roley says and then whispers to us on the ground, "Look at him, he's scared up there. I got him right where I want him." Roley turns his attention back to the kid, "Why are you leaning towards the wires? That's how you kill yourself in this job."
"If you're afraid of heights Bieber, we need to know now. Nothin' against you, we just gotta fire you." Brian
"Get on the other side of the trunk, Michelle. Before you fucking electrocute yourself." Roley
"If you wanna stop climbing, just come down and we'll hand you your lunch box. You can start walkin' back to the park site." Brian
"Now reach out, cut the branch and hinge it over." Roley

Most important part of Ice Fishin'

"Man, I can't wait to go ice fishin." Brian
"Better than normal fishin'?" Me
"Oh hellya. You ain't never ice fished?"
"Once when I was a kid."
"The fish tastes better. You ever eaten fish caught in winter?"
"I eat sushi."
"I ain't talkin' about sushi. You'll have to come out ice fishin' sometime."
"What's the best part of ice fishing?" Me
"Gettin' drunk." Brian
"That's what I thought."
"That and catching a big ass fish."
"In that order, huh?"
"Pretty much."

Get Good Or Go Home

Along a bike trail, I'm in the middle of what feels like a jungle with Brian and new guy Mike.  We are surrounded by vines.  We don't have to cut everything down, just the fast growers.  Box elders, soft maple, black walnut, etc.  If there is a God, he made vines just to fuck with people.  So I say fuck him.  We approach some soft maples just as tall as the power lines and ready to make contact.  We have to cut the trees down so they fall parallel with the wires instead of into the wires.

Everyone gets pretty annoyed with new guy Mike.  I try my best to give the kid the benefit of the doubt, but here in this vine jungle, even he is getting on my last nerve.  Roley said everytime he turns the radio on, the kid sings like he's trying out for American Idol.  Because of this, Roley has given him a second name, Bieber.  Yep, named after Justin Bieber.  In the same sentence, Roley might start out calling him Michelle and end it with Bieber.  It's pretty funny. 

So there we are in this clusterfuck of a forest with God sitting up on a cloud to look down so he can laugh his ass off.  All I want to do is throw my middle finger up to the sky, but I don't want anyone asking me what that was for.  So I do it mentally.  Small victories.  I am explaining to Mike how to push over the trees as Brian is making his felling cuts into the tree.  He tries the technique on two trees, but he's getting close to making contact with the powerlines.  He's not pushing on the right spots of the tree or at the right angle.  Brian's chainsaw runs out of gas, so he walks away to fill it up.

"Do you want to do this instead, Shawn?" Mike
"Do what?" Me
"You know, push the tree over.  I just, I'm no good." Mike
I look as casual as I normally am, but inside I am totally getting pissed, cause if there's one thing I hate, it's a quitter.  People quit on themselves all the time and the typical mentality of America these days is to say it's okay and let them walk away instead of conquering the obstacle.  Lucky for Mike, I'm not going to let him let me down.  I don't give a shit if he gets electricuted or not.
"Get good or go home." Me
Mike is taken back by my words and my delivery of them.
"This is a job, not a club or a support group." Me
Brian walks over with the chainsaw ready to fire up.
As calm as I can be, I finish with, "Now set the hook pole against the tree and get ready to push the fucking tree over."

Blowjob vs Packed Lunch

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Jimmy's Dog Had Cancer

Monday morning starts with the few people who want to say good morning to each other.  The rest are hoping the coffee or cigarettes will trigger a better mood.  Futile, but it's a norm.

Out on the bicycle trail, Jimmy will make small talk with anyone else but me.  If I haven't clued you in yet, Jimmy could have been the back up actor for Andre The Giant in The Princess Bride.  As I am staring off the bike trail at the vine covered trees we have to cut down, I feel a light punch to my shoulder.  I have no idea who it could be, but I am sure it's not Jimmy.  A few inches taller than me, it is Jimmy.

"How was your weekend?" Jimmy
"Good, went paintballing in Michigan.  Real good time.  How about your weekend?" Shawn
"Not much."
Well then what the fuck was the point in coming over to talk to me?  Something is up.
"You must have done something, Jimmy." Shawn
"Well, we noticed there was something wrong with the Husky on Friday night.  It was missing patches of hair all over it's body.  Took the dog into the emergency room and had some tests done.  They came back with cancer.  It had a knot of cancer in its intestines.  There was nothing we could do, we had to put the dog down." Jimmy

Moments like this are tough.  One minute I'm just planning on spending another day at work to daydream about being a successful filmmaker, but it's been interupted by the death of Jimmy's dog.  With clear safety glasses, I look straight at Jimmy.  He can't make any kind of eye contact, he just plays it off, but I can see it's tearing him apart. 
I don't see much anymore when I look in the mirror.  Kind of a blank stare from the person on the other side of the glass.  Other people are something else.  I like to look for differences in behavior and how people handle the life around them.  It's a curse when it comes to personal situations like this.
Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't make sense, but it seems appropriate, so I tell Jimmy I am sorry to hear about his dog.  He avoids the conversation all together.

"We got home and took the kennel down and threw away everything that went with the dog.  I watched some NASCAR on Sunday and putzed around in the garage for a while." Jimmy

He's done talking about the dog.  He's completely fucked up my morning by talking to me about his dog dying and now he's done and walking away.  That's his coping mechanism I suppose.  He just had to talk about it with someone and he picked me.  I don't know why.
All I want to do is make enough money to get out of this tree job.  To make a movie or go back to school.  As each day goes by, each of these men I work with becomes more like a brother.  Not because of some bullshit labor concept, but because we get alone and we actually count on each other to get home safe after each new day in the trees.

Don't Grow Old Alone

Stormwork
"Sir, I did what I could back there in the woods.  It's up to the power company to restore your power now." Ken
"Call me Dave." Dave
"Nice to meet you, Dave, I'm Ken."
"I'm going to give you some free advice, Ken."
"What's that, Dave?"
"Don't grow old alone."
"What's that about?  You're free to do what you want."
"Come here, I want you to show you what I can do all alone." Dave said as he took Ken to his barn.  Garage door revealed a 1950 Chevy, a Corvette and a 1977 Harley Shovelhead.  "I can enjoy them anytime I want, but I don't have anyone to enjoy them with me. I was married.  It didn't work out.  Take it from me, don't end up alone."
"Alright, Sir, Dave. I won't."
-Zen and the Art of Tree Trimming
by 5PM

Michelle Refuses Tree

"Michelle, climb that tree, get the broken limb off the wires." Roley
Mike, the new guy, gets his gear and climbs halfway up the tree, "This tree has a big crack in it."
"Are you saying you can't climb it, Michelle?" Roley
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was safe." Mike
"Come on down then, Michelle. Shawn, get you gear." Roley
I walk away to get my climbing gear.
"Shawn, your truck's too far away, I'll climb it." Union Man
Mike climbs down off the tree as Brian walks up.
"Michelle, even though Shawn didn't go up the tree, he didn't say no. He's never turned down a tree. Started out here just like you are." Brian
"Michelle, let me get your number later so I can call you for storm work." Union Man
"Ok." Mike
"I was being sarcastic, I wouldn't ever call you for storm work." Union Man
-Zen and the Art of Tree Trimming
by 5PM

Non-verbals Are Louder

Everyday up in the tree, my foreman specifically tells all the other climbers around me they are doing a good job. I have never heard it and I don't need to. I am a low maintenance climber. If I wasn't doing a good job, I would be kicked off the crew. The non-verbals are louder than the verbals.
-Zen and the Art of Tree Trimming
by 5PM

Labels

Labels

"Ever thought you'd be working with a redneck?" Brian
"I was in the Army for a long time, it's full of your kind." Me
"Oh yeah, that's right. Well then what are you?" Brian
"I don't like labels." Me
"Just cause you don't like 'em don't mean you ain't one." Brian
"I do everything I can not to be one. Ask the last handful of women I dated. They'll vouch for me." Me
-Zen and the Art of Tree Trimming
by 5PM