StereoMex tries to stereotype me

"Damn son, how tall are you?" StereoMex (Stereotypical Mexican) co-worker.
"It's just Shawn." Me
"Okay, Just Shawn, how tall are you?" He said this to make me feel stupid. As if ghetto slang is more impressive than direct communication.
"Six two."
"You mustta played some basketball back in high school." StereoMex
"No."
"No? You were just a white boy?" StereoMex said with a smirk.
"I'm not white."
"What?"
"I don't play that race card bullshit. I'm just Shawn." Me
"Okay den."
"People want to say shit to me like, 'Oh you got it so good cause you're white.' Then what the fuck am I doing working here trimming trees? Fuck them."
"Right!? I gotchu." StereoMex
Somehow, in his eyes, I earned mad props. So be it.

Crushed Cream of Potato

Bieber is supposed to get Rolie's cream of potato can off the chipper. Brian backs up the truck and the can falls out, but somehow doesn't get run over. Abe picks the can off the ground. Jokingly, he throws it in front of Dave's truck. Dave hits the gas instead of the brake. The can shoots cream of potato ten feet out from the bumper all over the ground. Bieber is in shock, Rolie will be pissed again in one week. I walk the can over to Rolie.
"Goddamn it! That's twice in one week! Who did it?" Rolie
"Sorry Rolie!" Abe
Rolie grabs Abe's hard plastic Igloo lunch box. Dumps all his shit out and puts it in front of the dual tires on the rear of his truck. Gets in the cab and begins to pull forward.
"Oh fuck, Shawn, get your camera!" Abe
-ZATT

Granpa

"Take this Sharpie and write Grandpa on the inner brim of your helmet." Kenny
"Okay, Kenny." Matt
"Spell it without the d."
"Why's that?"
"Cause there's nothing grand about you."
-ZATT

Napalm Chowder

"What's all over your arm?" Me
"Napalm. It hurts like a mutherfuker." Bieber
"It looks like clam chowder."
"It is, I went to check on the can on the chipper engine and it fucking exploded all over me."
"That's like a 2nd degree burn on your arm."
"I am in so much pain, but Rolie's gonna be pissed at me for ruining his lunch."